So, I planned a venture to down south Jersey to see him. The three of us was to go out to dinner. When the time came, my boyfriend couldn't go. I went anyway. I get to the address he gave me and went to the door and gave it a firm knock. He answered. I had jawdrop syndrome! I walked in and sat on the furthest couch in an attempt to be good. Two hours later after much conversation he asked me why are you all the way across the room? I don't bite! I laughed and moved a little closer. I sat on the same couch but at opposite ends. He turned the TV off and asked me what was the real reason why I sat to the north of his south pole lol! I told him because I was attracted to him and I was trying to be faithful to my man. He asked you wanna leave? I said Nah. He said that he didn't think I was gonna be this attractive in person, and I replied I had forgotten almost what you looked like! Another hour passed and I said I need to get back home. We did the man shake hug combo and felt each others HARDNESS. That had to have been the longest hug ever!
Fast Forward... I never left that night! I spent the night and we did the damn thing 3 times! His dick felt so good. He was making love to me! For real for real, that was love! We expressed that we felt a connection growing. I made time to sneak away to see him and so did he to me. all March long we was creepin. I had fallen in love with him. There presents the problem, I'm in a relationship with someone who loves me for me but want to get in a relationship with someone I am more compatible with. I thought it fair to tell him about my HIV status since I hadn't yet after plenty sex scenes! He blew up! Enraged! He said I should have told him before and it would have been fine! We still would have messed around! I broke his heart which broke mine! I was depressed. I couldn't get any comfort from anywhere... I had to deal with it on my own just like I always have to do.
March has come and gone, I have chased a man out of my life that had great potential! Since He has no idea who this is and doesn't even read blogs, Shout out to you Mark! I really do love you!
12 comments:
Indeed. Sometimes holding back the truth can hurt more in the end.
~Damnit!
Just shaking my head. But sometimes its funny how long term internet pals can be the one...but next time take your ass home...lol
All i gotta say, is find you a man that compliments you, fulfills you, loves you, trustes you, and vice versa. And no more creepin'! You gotta learn to communicte with your partners more, no matter who, or the nature of the situation; this is precisely the reasons you get in the predicaments you do. You get much more respect from those you care about when you can let them know whats going on, and how you feel. They really do care.
Wow boy I tell you. See look wat happen. You gotta let these niggas know b4 hand dude. I feel bad for u in a kinda crazy way, cuz if u woulda told him you had at it earlier on he would still be messn with you damm now u have nothing but this fuckd up situation u call a relationship. But knowing you I'm pretty sure you will find someone else to fill that void. looks like u always do judging by reading your blogs. ? How often do u see ya boyfriend? What is it that he's not doing that you are getting from these other people? Y r u still holdn on? Its pointless jus let it go man. Be single (shit sounds like u think your single anyway)
Like I always say be safe man
Ya Boy X
(Speechless)
This is just me and I am not being judgemental but I find it hard to read that you have a boyfriend and cheat on him with people who do not know your status until after the fact. I wish that you would let your boyfriend know that you have these second thoughts and let him know of your infidelity. I also wish you would let people know before you are sexually involved with them that you are pos.
I guess my thing is, I don't care what you do as long as you are not hurting people. You may hurt your boyfriend by cheating and you may be hurting people by sleeping with them without giving them your status. If you tell everyone and everyone is cool, GO FOR IT and do your thang.
Lesson learned, maybe. I agree with Ty, its time to talk to old boy and tell him what's going on in your head. To many people are likely to be hurt by yor indiscretions. Find the courage to do the right thing. And, just to let you know, we all love you.
Don't think that I don't read your blogs, because I have read ever post. I refrain from posting until I get a better understanding on who you are as a person.
I do appreciate the kinds words you left on my blog about my break up.
Acually one of your post brought me to tears.
You know it's easy for folks "to say" what the right thing is to do, but the truth is no one's immune to getting caught up in the moment and just doing what comes naturally. I ain't saying that makes it right but I'm saying it occurs naturally.
Jay i will work on taking my ass home!
BnM you are so true. But letting the truth out can also hurt! Possibly even more!
The last guy I creeped with was RAW. and the orgy 3 days later...
X, I like to have my cake and eat it too. but I see him quite often. Like I said before, I been good lately... and since I been good, I have also been safe
Blacks, why are you speechless?
Ty if I let my boyfriend know of my second thoughts, then they would become my first thoughts!
shawnqt, which of my posts brought you to tears? sorry if I saddened you, hopefully tears of joy!
Ok, ok..now...hmm..first of all why you putting all your beeswax out there (lol I said beeswax)? I mean I appreciate your honesty but from friends experience, you should consider that you don't have any control over who reads these blogs cuz niggaz is grimme esp. in the state of jersey...umm..hiv status...i fully agree with homeboi...I undertsand where he is coming from...jus learn to be more honest in your affairs...as far as cheating..it's not my place to give you my opininon on that..good luck though..do what's right...think you know what you need to do...
u decide to uswe ur conscious and tell the fool the truth why? just kidding srry 4 da loss
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